The Cloud of Grey

Since the assault, there has been an underlying cloud of grey that is always there.

Bits of sunshine are starting to come through.

It's like being caught in a web, even if you get something free; there's another part still stuck. 

I wonder if I'll ever really be free from what happened to me. 

I knew this person, for several yrs. I never in a million yrs would have thought that someone could be so evil. 

I've never experienced anything like it in my life. 

I Want to Feel Normal

I just want to feel normal. Is that such a hard thing to ask? I want to feel like every moment of every day isn't somehow defined by the rape.
I want to recover, if that's even possible. My therapist tells me I will, but nine months after being assaulted; I'm beginning to wonder if such a thing exists.
I've been struggling... Really, struggling.

Does it Ever Get Easier

I wonder, I wonder if I'll ever feel whole again.
If my heart and mind will heal.
What kind of monster gets off on hurting other people?